Misha Bonaventura, consent culture advocate
Misha Bonaventura co-produces Bonobo Tribe, an adult sex-positive community based in the San Francisco Bay Area.
What’s your quick bio?
I teach Sexual Adulting 101 for women and work with SoulPlay Festival to develop their consent culture with a harm reduction and transformative justice lens. My private practice, Clearing Conversations, focuses on conflict resolution and communication coaching. I’m passionate about supporting the sex-positive community of the Bay Area and beyond in creating sustainable, long-term relationship building.
What are some of your own favorite past projects? Why do you feel great about them?
I founded Trustable Sluts, a place for sexually liberated, socially responsible women. We empower, celebrate, and honor sexually-liberated, self-aware, and socially-responsible women with a sisterhood community, support, and fun.
I supported the creation of Navigating Consent Classes, created by Dossie Easton, the co-author of The Ethical Slut. These classes teach consent, collaboration, cooperation, and how to make safe spaces and protect yourselves and each other.
What is a cultural phenomenon, experiment, or moment that has inspired you in the past?
The #MeToo movement has amplified the ability to spread consent culture to a more mainstream audience. It has allowed us to spread what we know about consent culture and explicit communication about sex and relationships to be seen and heard by more people.
“Consent culture goes beyond sexual consent: it means understanding what each individual needs to self-care, that we don't overwork ourselves, that we allow people to make decisions that are best for them. ”
What's a current cultural edge you're excited to see people pushing?
I'm excited to be leading the way of sexual cultural change. I see the Bay Area pushing the boundaries and dominant paradigm of sexual relationship and that feels exciting to me.
What’s your biggest, most out-there dream of a better world?
A world where people can have connection, intimacy, touch, and love through a community of people that are their friends, lovers, and even their exes.
What's a relatively small, highly achievable dream of a better world that you sometimes think about but haven't done yet?
I would like to see a third party mediation team to support conflict resolution in the sex-positive spaces in the Bay Area. This would free the leaders of these communities from having to investigate their own communities for wrongdoing, while still offering accountability. Third-party mediation would also give community members a place to make complaints about community leaders when they feel it’s necessary.
If you could put out a PSA to the entire world asking for help with one thing, what would you ask for?
We currently live in a culture of domination, and shifting to consent culture will take all of us. This goes beyond sexual consent: consent culture means understanding what each individual needs to self-care, that we don't overwork ourselves, that we allow people to make decisions that are best for them.
What's your favorite thing about The New Modality?
I love that you are bringing cutting-edge ideas to a broader audience.
What are your favorite links that will help our audience learn about you, your life, your work, and your values?
The Consent Policy for Bonobo Tribe, the sex-positive community I co-produce: bit.ly/bonobotribeconsentpolicy